What are your top 10 signs that indicate you're in a bad relationship?

Posted on the 17th of March 2021
Updated on the 9th of November 2022

If I had had the presence of mind to ask this question 10 years ago, I could have saved myself an untold amount of pain, heartache, and suffering.

So I applaud you for being proactive about this instead of waiting for those drops of water to turn into a tidal wave. Here are some of the many negative signs that I have grown to spot after years of being in this kind of relationship. While this applies to both men and women, I will speak more towards a male audience looking for “red flags” in their partners.
Let's go head first ...

* Note: It is important to stress that every man and woman has their bad days. When looking for red flags, you should look for obvious signs and consistent patterns. Just because her day at work has been shitty and she throws at an old lady crossed in a traffic jam going to burn in hell, that you should leave her… But if you detected any of the above behaviors. below, pack your bags while there is still time!

1. She disrespects the people in "her" service

If you're at a restaurant with a woman and she's mean, rude, or disrespectful to the service staff, that's a red flag.

If she laughs at the innocent homeless man looking for a change, that's a red flag.

While she is generally rude and obnoxious to people who don't bring her anything in life, you can be pretty sure that as soon as the first phase of the relationship is over, this disrespect and meanness will kick in. will extend to you.

This tendency is so incredibly accurate in predicting the long-term behavior of potential partners that I've made it a personal rule to never have a second date with a woman who is unnecessarily mean to anyone on our first date.

2. She talks behind the backs of friends and family

Guess what?

If she constantly complains and talks about her friends and family, you can be sure that she is going to tell her friends and family stories about you.

Gossip is inappropriate for anyone.

Especially in a long-term potential partner or spouse.

3. All his exes were "assholes"

It could be true. But here is the most likely reality.

If she doesn't at least recognize HER role in the deterioration of the relationship (even if her role was just to tolerate unacceptable behavior from terrible men), that's a good sign that as soon as you go and separate, she will say the same things about you.

Yes, a lot of great women end up having really bad relationships with violent and horrible men.

But if she doesn't want to take her share of the blame, or if she hasn't had a single boyfriend who was a "nice guy," that's a good sign that you should move on.

4. She doesn't take care of her body and health (even though she looks great)

I know she has an amazing body. I know she looks great in a swimsuit. I'm sure the sex is great too.

But if she doesn't do anything to take care of herself, it's clear that things aren't going to work out in the long run.
Let's face it ...

About 80% of your attraction to this woman, which is an uncontrollable subconscious emotion, is based on her physical appearance.

I know that is not the politically correct thing to say, but it is a fact (according to all specialists).

And that doesn't mean that this appearance should be the ONLY thing that matters to you, but if she doesn't care about her health and how she looks, it indicates that there are other underlying issues and that they do. will manifest over the long term.

If she lacks the discipline, willpower, and motivation to take care of her body NOW, what does this tell us about how she will act in the future?

(Gentlemen, this applies to you too… Play sports and do your partner and yourself a favor, okay?)

5. She takes antidepressants and other medications

Eeeeeettttt….

This excludes about 30% of the population.

Now look ...

I have been prone to chronic depression. I have lived with it for a very long time, even after achieving a high level of professional and personal success.

And that doesn't mean that there aren't some great women who take anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications.

BUT…

These drugs are always a sign of deeper psychological issues that you may not want to get into.

It's also important to know that these drugs literally re-connect your brain in a way that even doctors don't understand (which is why they say, “Try this and see what happens”).

You might meet an amazing girl who thinks that together you are going to land the moon. But a few weeks later, after her Cymbalta [ 1 ] showed up… She hates you and doesn't want to see you anymore…

It's not necessarily a deciding factor, but it's a big red flag.

6. His friends are disreputable

Show me your friends and I will tell you about your future ...

If his friends are all debauched, mean, and good at cheating on their boyfriends or girlfriends and husbands or wives, you can be 99% certain that in the long run, that's exactly what. what it will look like.

Studies have shown this to be true.

If a married couple has a group of friends who tend to divorce, the probability of divorce increases by about 30%.

And I'm sure the same applies to infidelity.

Pay special attention to his friends and beware if they are all disreputable.

7. She has been abused or has a very bad relationship with her father.

There's a reason why “problems with the father” are largely considered one of the biggest red flags in relationships.

Look, not all women will have a good relationship with their father.

In fact, many of them may be distant or unwilling to deal with their father.

But you need to be careful about how this abuse and previous abuse from family members may manifest itself in your relationship.

Again, I know many, many, wonderful women whose fathers are useless assholes.

But they tend to be the exception and not the rule (at least for women between the ages of 24 and 29).

Pay attention to the way she interacts and talks about her father, this will give you some clues as to who you are going to be dealing with.

8. She thinks you are perfect and she doesn't want to be apart from you.

It may sound flattering at first, but trust me, it will age very quickly and very badly.

When she can't stand spending time away from you or is so clingy that you can't go out with your friends without her going wild, that's a bad sign.

You are not perfect and neither am I.

Just like partners who project unrealistic expectations on you. And besides, you will end up resenting them.

9. She is jealous

Do I need to say more?

If she can't stand the fact that you have one or two platonic girlfriends or go out with your mates once or twice a week, then you should get away as far as you can.

Just make sure you don't give her reason to be jealous by flirting with other women, partying every night until 2 a.m., or being sneaky.

Because sometimes jealousy is justified.